


Sunshine Girl

by Ellienerd14



Category: Glee
Genre: Crush, F/F, Happy Ending, Kisses, Love, Pining, soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8594209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/pseuds/Ellienerd14
Summary: 'Brittany is the best thing that Santana will never have.'Marks appear up your arm when you fall in love and Santana had been bearing Brittany's for months. She doesn't have a chance.She doesn't even let herself consider that.Not once.





	

Brittany was the best thing that Santana would never have. Brittany was like the sun because she shone and Santana was stunned every time she smiles. Brittany was like the sun because every time Santana saw the blonde, her day was brighten. Worse of all, Brittany was like the sun because she was so far out of reach.

The mark was a sun, yellow-orange on the tanned wrist of Santana's skin. The mark was bright with colour the way it does when you're in love.

Your own mark developed around age two or three, on your left arm. Every time you fall in love that persons mark appears on yours in bright, taunting colours, bright until you fall out of love and it fades right back to black and white. The marks line up on your right arm, the signs of falling in and out love, so it's wasn't uncommon to see people covering up their arms.

Santana was one of those people, hiding not just the bright sun that shows her love for Brittany but her own too. Santana's mark is a flower, a lily to be precise. She doesn't understand how she's represented by something so delicate, so pretty when she's neither of those things.

~~~

Brittany is the first person Santana's fallen in love with and she has Kurt and Blaine to blame or thank for meeting her. The two were very much in love, they wear each other's mark, the bright yellow bird and the little bow tie coloured blue and red and look at each other like they're the only one who matters.

They'd got married last year, at the age of 22. Santana had been oddly touched to be the head bridesmaid and while watching the couple dance, a girl had approached her.

"Do you like the cake?" She asked, bright eyed and smiling.

"I haven't tried it yet."

"I designed the cake, it's pretty isn't it?"

Santana smiled at Brittany (she was a stranger at the time, but still so full of Brittany, so full of light.) "It is."

~~~

It took a while for the sun to appear on Santana's previously bare arm. It hadn't hurt, like she had thought. Santana had simply woke up on morning with the sun glowing at her in greeting, after staying up till 2am on the phone with Brittany.

Then Santana officially knew she was screwed.

~~~

Santana pulled her jacket sleeve down, ensuring her mark was covered. She couldn't let Brittany know.

"Hey Britt," Santana grested, smiling in a borderline nice way that only Brittany could bring out.

"Hi Santana," Brittany replied happily. Brittany was usually happy and Santana was glad, the few times she'd seen Brittany sad made her heart break.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm tired, law school and all." Santana answered. She was a law student at NYU in her third year and it was tough. Even for the Queen of Hell herself.

"Can't be worse than math," Brittany replied. Despite what people thought Brittany wasn't dumb even if she was slightly naive. In fact Brittany was considered a math genius with huge potential.

"Nothing is worse than maths."

Brittany smiled. (Santana didn't let herself think about how it made her want to kiss Brittany. That kind of thinking was setting herself up for heartache.) "You're funny San."

"I try."

"Can we go for a walk?" Brittany asked. "It's snowing."

~~~

Santana thought it was funny how Brittany could walk though the streets of snowy New York and still be a ball of sunshine.

"I like the city when it's like this. It covers up the ugliness," Santana commented, kicking snow as she walked.

"New York isn't ugly," Brittany argued. "It's this best city on the world."

"It's still ugly. Apart from at night, or when it's snowing."

"We should visit the city tonight then. Then it'll be lit up and snowing," Brittany suggested.

"Why not?" Santana agreed. "Anyway why do you like the snow so much?"

"The snow is fluffy!" Brittany answered. Santana smiled, like she'd expected any other answer.

~~~

"Britt, you're not called a genius enough."

Brittany blushed, which she only did when she was called smart. "I told you New York was beautiful."

Santana shrugged. "In the right lighting."

"You're so cynical."

"I'm sorry." Santana muttered.

"Why are you sorry? It's part of you and you're awesome." She smiled, sometimes Santana realised how much the sun deserved to glow on her arm.

~~~

Sometimes Santana's mind would wander into the dangerous territory of wishing she could show Brittany the mark and that her sunshine girl will have a lily marked on her own wrist. She would smile for a spilt-second before dismissing the thought. It was dangerous to have hope. Hope lead to heartbreak and Santana being trying to minimise the amount of heartache since she first saw the sun.

Damage control.

She pulled on a jacket and went back to hiding the sun, pretending that the spilt-second hope that made her chose a tank top never exsisted; it was easier that way.

~~~

Santana wondered sometimes, what would happen if Brittany had a lily, The Lily, that showed she loves Santana back.

Then Brittany would take off her jacket and all the hope vanished. .

There were four and they're all black and white. No colour. Santana's face drops and she stopped laughing. She just stopped.

Brittany took a moment before looking over to Santana and then moving by her side. "What's wrong San?"

"Nothing... I just need a minute, okay?"

"San, please, what's wrong?" Brittany pleaded. "Please."

"It's nothing." Santana repeated, a little harsher than before.

"Then why are you crying?" Brittany asked, innocently wiping away her tears, a kind act that made the heartache worse.

"I keep imagining it and it never happens and I'm so stupid!" Santana cursed. "I am so dumb."

"You're not stupid," Brittany comforted, lightly rubbing her back in a comforting gesture.

"I am! I keep hoping even if I keep trying not to and now I'm heartbroken... Just like I knew I'd be!" Santana yelled, her voice rising with her now free emotions.

"Heartbroken? About what?" Brittany asked softly.

"About you not having a Lily when I've had a sun for so goddamn long!" Santana yelled.

She covered her mouth in surprise of what she just admitted.

"Oh god," Santana whispered. "I shouldn't have said that."

"San..." Brittany began, looking at the other girl in surprise.

"I'm gonna go," Santana said quickly.

"Santana, don't!" Brittany pleaded.

"It's for the best," Santana contuined, picking up her bag.

"Santana, please. You don't understand..."

The door shut, echoing though the apartment till only silence remained.

Brittany finished her sentence to a now quiet room. "I do have a lily."

~~~

The mark was still there, a pretty yellow-orange taunting her with it's bright colours. Reminding her she still loved Brittany, even though it had been weeks, months even.

As if Santana didn't already know.

Brittany still called but Santana doesn't pick up. She was stupid and stubborn and self loathin: none of her qualities which would help the current situation.

Santana hated the sun sometimes for bringing her down and ruining everything.

But she hated herself more.

~~~

More weeks pass and things change, little things like Brittany stops calling and passes messages though her friends.

"Britt says she misses you."

  
"Brittany wants to talk, please do it already."

  
"Britt wants you to stop ignoring her messages."

  
"All Brittany wants is a chance to talk."

  
"San, Britt said to call her. What happened?"

Santana tried calling once but hung up after the first ring. She couldn't go back to Brittany. She couldn't pretend she didn't love Brittany so much it hurt.

~~~

Santana never called, never gives a reply to Brittany's messages. She spotted her in a coffee shop and swiftly left.

The sun seems to be getting brighter.

Santana either wishes the colours would disappear or that it never existed.

~~~

It's flowers that change everything. Flowers that arrive on Valentines day and come with a hand written note.

'I sent lilies so we'd match.'

Santana drops the flowers in shock. 'Match'.

Was Brittany trying to tell her she had heart mark? She must be. It was the only logical explanation.

Santana dialled a number that she had been fearing.

~~~

Brittany's apartment hadn't change since the last time she'd been. It was still bright and beautiful.

Santana wrapped her arms around herself. It wasn't cold but she couldn't stop shivering.

"Santana!" Brittany said, hugging the other girl without hesitation. No hard feelings.

Santana smiled at her, holding on to the girl she considered her best friend. The girl she was in love with.

"You came."

"Of course I did," Santana said, "The note, was it true?"

"Of course it was. I've been trying to tell you for months," Brittany said.

"I... I didn't think I could face you... thinking you didn't love me back." Santana admitted. She was almost at a loss for words.

"I would have told you, I tried to," Brittany told her. "But you're here now and I love you."

"I love you too, my sunshine girl."

~~~

It was raining the first time that they kiss. They did so with passion and Santana held her girlfriend close.

Brittany was like sun in all ways but unreachable.

**Author's Note:**

> In case it isn't clear Santana mark of a lily only has a little colour and she never saw it up close so she thought all marks were black and white.


End file.
